Throw a Party!

You don’t have to put on a gala to be the hostess with the mostest. Plan a simple breakfast or brunch, and invite a small group of friends to show up in their pajamas.

Ask each to bring a holiday memento and story from her childhood. Hang out and share remembrances, hot cocoa, and great food.

Embracing Our Playful Nature

Nevertheless, embracing our playful nature is essential to lightening our burden, cleaning out our mental cobwebs, and replenishing our spirit. When we make the time to play, we tap into our childlike wonder, our sense of adventure, and even our silliness. Our hearts fill with gladness and our souls fill with hope.

Here are five fun and inexpensive ways to embrace our playful nature, and recapture a hint of childhood’s seemingly endless summer days.

Organize a Classic Game Night

Celebrate friendship and frolic with a girls’ night in. Make it a potluck and pull out your favorite board games from childhood. A rousing game of Monopoly, Clue, or Scrabble is tremendous fun. For a fun variation, hold a checkers, chess, backgammon tournament, complete with prizes or homemade certificates for the champions.

Start a Bunco Group

If you’ve never played Bunco, you’re missing out on a whole lot of silly fun. Bunco is a dice game that takes absolutely no skill whatsoever, but provides the perfect pretext for getting together with friends on a monthly basis. All you need is 12 people, 9 dice, and some score sheets you can create yourself. I’ve belonged to the same Bunco Group for almost 10 years, and spend the third Friday evening of every month laughing and yelling and having the time of my life.

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Indeed, health care reform is dominating the domestic political agenda this summer, and the debate is heating up. As the U.S. Senate and House of Representatives put forth legislation that could mark the most sweeping change since Medicare was launched in 1965, it's time for us to speak up. It's been 15 years since NAAFA demonstrated at the White House in opposition to the Clinton health care reform plan, which would have disenfranchised people of size. This time around, it's imperative that our community has a voice at the table.

Why is this such a critical issue? Simply put, "obesity" is perceived by the insurance industry as a pre-existing condition. That leaves us with few options. If we work for the ever-shrinking number of employers that still offer health insurance, that's one possibility. Another is obtaining coverage through our spouses or partners. Otherwise, we're either denied coverage upfront or charged exorbitant rates for coverage. It doesn't matter what our health status is; we have three strikes against us simply because we're larger than average. As a result, plus- and supersize women account for a disproportionate number of the estimated 50 million uninsured Americans.

Granted, health insurance is only one part of the health care picture for the plus-size community. The other is discriminatory practices or ignorance on the part of the medical profession. Many of us have tales to tell about the bad attitudes we’ve encountered in medical offices, about medication dosages that were inappropriate for our weight, about misdiagnoses, or about incorrect treatment plans. While we’re often forced to assert our right to be treated with dignity and respect by members of the medical profession, we won’t even have the opportunity to do so if we don’t have access to the health care delivery system.

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My long history with MiB began when I saw their advertisement in the NAAFA Newsletter. At the time, plus-size clothes were typically drab and made from polyester. I couldn’t believe my good fortune in finding a company that offered natural fiber clothing in a wide range of colors. After becoming a customer, and after becoming executive director of NAAFA in the late 1980s, I uncovered a different facet of MiB: their commitment to the plus-size community.

The company supported size-related organizations in a variety of ways, but they always went the extra mile. While I was at NAAFA, our convention T-shirt supplier flaked out at the last minute, telling us that he could only provide shirts in sizes up to 4X. MiB saved the day with a last-minute shipment of super-size T-shirts. They understood that women all sizes of large deserved to be full participants in the conference.

But MiB’s largesse wasn’t limited to size-related groups. I vividly recall speaking at the company’s tenth anniversary celebration and bidding on several items in the silent auction, the proceeds of which went to a local charity. Even today, MiB’s philanthropic efforts shine through; the company actively supports “I Have a Dream,” a nonprofit that is making higher education a reality for socioeconomically disadvantaged children.

When I moved into the editorship of BBW Magazine in the late 1990s, MiB was my ace in the hole. I simply couldn’t get manufacturers of plus-size clothing to provide us with apparel larger than a size 16 for our photo shoots. This was especially problematic for our annual model search, when it was imperative that we have clothing in all sizes of large. Again, MiB came to the rescue, providing us with truly plus- and super-size fashion.

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Those of us who are of a certain age, and who have been plus- or super-size most of our lives, have experienced the necessity of building our wardrobes around what was available in our size, rather than around flattering clothes that we love. I know I’m not alone in recalling times when I felt disappointed, angry, or even ashamed because I had to wear clothing that was inappropriate for the occasion. One of my most painful memories is when, at 16 years old, I attended my father’s funeral wearing a lemon yellow polyester pantsuit. The one plus-size clothing store in town didn’t carry anything appropriately subdued in my size, and couldn’t order anything on short notice. Thanks to the efforts of MiB and others, today’s plus-size teenagers don’t have to experience the humiliations, large and small, that result from a dearth of fashion choices.

Yet, because many of us have become accustomed to limited selections, we tend to stay within a certain fashion comfort zone. I, for one, am guilty of adopting a “uniform” of sorts. Perhaps it’s because I grew up with limited choices, or maybe it’s due to spending 12 years at Catholic schools wearing plaid skirts and white blouses with Peter Pan collars. Whatever the reason, these days my winter wardrobe consists largely of MiB Easy Pants and Big Shirts, while my summer collection is made up of MiB shorts and tees. Comfortable, reliable, but for everyday I sometimes feel ambivalent or simply a bit bored with my “uniform”…

Because I’m the type who buys the same top in a dozen different colors, MiB’s new catalog struck a chord. With so many new styles, the catalog challenged me to move outside of my comfort zone and embrace my inner fashion diva. This summer, I’m going to supplement my collection of shorts with breezy skirts that will help me keep my cool, try out tops with flirty prints, and take the chance that the earth won’t stop revolving on its axis if I go sleeveless. Bold, isn’t it?

So cheer me on, and if you feel like it, join me in reaching inside to that urge to try out new styles or colors!

I’d love to hear from you how your experiment works out. Let me know what your fashion comfort zone has been, and what it feels like to take the plunge with a new look. Drop me a note, and I’ll share what you tell me in a future article.

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Several years ago, when BBW Magazine was in print and I was its editor-in-chief, I received a steady stream of complaints from readers for rarely featuring models larger than a size 14 in the fashion layouts. As a super-size woman, I totally agreed, but my hands were tied. After all, the vast majority of models in the plus-size divisions of agencies like Ford and Wilhelmina were size 10. But the real conspiracy was in the realm of fashion designers, who as a whole refused to provide samples of the next season’s fashions larger than a size 14. The reason? Whether out of revulsion or fear, they didn’t want their clothing shown on larger models. They wanted to keep us invisible.

In the meantime, over at the Daily Beast, Meghan McCain (yes, John’s daughter) recently took on Laura Ingraham for cattily dissing McCain for fluctuating between – gasp – a size 8 and a size 10 on the campaign trail. And there’s Jessica Simpson, Oprah, and myriad other celebs whose sizes and wardrobe choices become fodder for fashion’s chattering classes. Against this backdrop, and without a drop of irony, the L.A. Times article lauded “America’s Next Top Model” for selecting Whitney Thompson as the only “plus-size winner” of the reality show. At a size 10-12, Thompson is still smaller than the average American woman. If she’s representative of plus-size women, where do the rest of us fit in?

What should we do about the department stores that tuck their plus sizes away in a hidden corner, the unenlightened designers who turn their backs on us, and the ersatz plus-size clothing catalogs that refuse to use plus-size models in their catalogs? One of the best ways to create change in the marketplace is to vote with our dollars. If we don’t patronize those stores and catalogs, perhaps they’ll get the message that they need to acknowledge their customers. If we send them email, write letters, and lodge complaints with their customer service departments, maybe they’ll rethink they ways in which they contribute to the invisibility of plus-size women.

Thankfully, some clothing designers have made it their mission to give us visibility. For a quarter of a century, MiB has proudly featured plus- and super-size models within the pages of their catalogs – a radical position in the fashion industry. Those models’ faces – and curves – reflect the beauty and diversity of our sisterhood. When we see women like Lisa and Tesia and Debbie and Dana, we see ourselves. We see how MiB’s gorgeous fashions look on their bodies, and can easily imagine how the clothing will look on our bodies. As an MiB customer, I appreciate the company’s commitment to designing for and celebrating women all sizes of large. And, I’m proud to support a company that, for so long, has given a face, a figure, and fabulous fashions to our community. I know I’m not alone in feeling this way, but I’d love to hear your thoughts about MiB’s “radical” commitment to using plus-size models. Drop me a note, and I’ll share what you tell me in a future article.

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