|
Thriving During the Holiday Season
By Sally E. Smith
Before the last vestiges of Thanksgiving turkey and
stuffing have disappeared from the refrigerator, the howling winds of
the December holiday season threaten to sweep us away. Whether we
celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or the Winter Solstice, it’s
easy to succumb to holiday pressures.
According to a survey conducted last year by the American
Psychological Association (APA), “Americans list lack of money (61%),
the pressures of gift giving (42%), lack of time (34%) and credit card
debt (23%) as top causes of holiday stress. Survey results also show
that younger Americans are more worried about lack of money (81%) and
gift giving (54%) compared to people over the age of 35.”
Although the APA didn’t specifically survey plus-size
women, anecdotal evidence suggests that we deal with additional types of
stress during the holiday season. Those of us who grew up as large kids
may have family members who belittled us or berated us for our size. If
that’s the case, then holiday family gatherings can create new
opportunities to open old wounds. Those of us with body image issues may
decline invitations to office parties or other holiday gatherings
because we don’t have the perfect cocktail dress or because we don’t
want to be compared to our thinner counterparts. Those of us with low
self-esteem may buy extravagant gifts that we can’t afford in order to
“pay back” people who have befriended us.
The good news is that holiday stress isn’t inevitable, and
that we’re not destined to wake up on New Year’s Day with an emotional
hangover that lingers on into early spring. You can begin to create a
holiday season that is fulfilling and joyful by considering these
issues:
1. Forget “perfection” and go with “good enough.” Perfect
holidays may be depicted on greeting cards and in store displays, but
this is the real world. If your cookies aren’t decorated to perfection
or your earrings don’t perfectly match your dress, it’s okay. Trying to
live up to impossibly high standards is simply exhausting.
2. Rethink traditions. Perhaps you’re thrilled to host your
annual holiday brunch, but grudgingly go to Aunt Betsy’s house the week
before New Year’s and half-heartedly exchange gifts with distant
relatives. Determine which traditions you treasure and those you dread,
and propose changing the latter. You may be surprised to learn that Aunt
Betsy was hesitant to admit that she prefers a summertime visit.
3. Supplement your family of origin with your family of
choice. Contrary to the popular adage, you can choose your
family. If holiday gatherings with your family of origin are too painful
to endure, create a family of close, supportive friends and celebrate
with them.
4. Learn to say “no.” The holiday season is a time of
giving, but giving should come from the heart. If you don’t have the
time or energy to fulfill someone’s request, “no” is always an
acceptable answer. The earth won’t stop spinning on its axis if you…
5. …Set good boundaries. In addition to setting limits with
others, define boundaries for yourself. This might mean developing a
holiday budget and sticking to it so that you don’t have to deal with a
financial nightmare when the New Year rolls around. It may mean getting
enough sleep each night to stay healthy through the holidays. It could
mean carving out an hour or two each week to engage in activities that
rejuvenate and refresh you, so that you’ll have the stamina you need to
make it through the holiday season.
By consciously examining our expectations and feelings, and
then making choices that support our well-being, we can do more than
survive the holiday season – we can truly thrive.
Return to
Sally Smith Articles |
